I used to want to take a
drill to my head
Let the pain out of the hole
I used to want to cut the
veins in my
neck
Cool the blood boiling my
soul
When I wondered, why my
daily headaches thundered
Tried to buffer, pushing
down the
pain I suffered
Mutilated, feeling so
humiliated
Cannot wash the dirt off
underneath my skin
There was a part of me
left
far behind
When at the age of five
years old
I had my innocence taken
from me
Emptiness would fill
the
hole
Now a second grader,
thinking why I don't feel
better
Why I'm filthy, why the hell
I feel so guilty
When
drawing stick men
of pornographic men and
women
Thinking all the time
there's something wrong
with me
Everyday for
three years
from dawn 'til dusk a
migraine
would take me and break me
And it'd cripple me so
much that
In dreams, it'd
seem, with
a hole in my temple
that I could probably make
my headaches finally
go
away
Trephination
Trephination
The enemy inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
And after three
years now
my headaches wear off
For reasons not quite to
me known
The acupuncture needles
sticking my skin
Pushed them
down as far
as they'd go
But now I'm older and now
inside my anger smolders
from depression, to fighting
Taking out my
vengeance
Consequences, now I'd
question during sex if ...
Is this how it f*****g feels
or am I faking it ?
No longer
the child that
you left there at the bart
tracks
I'm now at 17, left in an
empty blackness
On drugs, with thugs,
and
thinking "g*****n ?"
I'm ending up in a failure,
in the gutter passed out
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy
inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
Now I'm older and in this
man an anger smolders
Now I'm thinking a
hole in
you is what I'm seeing
Your depression, is the
dent I kick in you in
vengeance
Consequences are the pain
I'd
give to you
I know that I'm dreaming,
but in this dream I go in
go through it, and end it
And though I'd never do
it
I'm killing you, hand on
the trigger - pull it
Your final thought'll be a
bullet in your fuckin'
head
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy inside of me
I'm now killing
to make me free.
